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WEDDING DAY SEPTEMBER 6th

MOM & DAD

Moms Journal Summer 1977

Summer 1977

I was faced with the fact that my teaching Certificate was going to expire and I hadn't gotten enough hours to renew it so I was going to have to go to summer school all summer to get some hours. I hated the thought of staying in the valley all summer because of the heat, but didn't really know where else to go. I was also getting bored with ASU after all that is the only place I had been. Of course I had prayer about what I should do. My answer came the middle of March – a bulletin from NAU summer school at first when it same I didn't think much about it –every teacher gets those. But it sat on my dresser several days than I opened it and looked at the classed that had to offer in home ec and could help my master's degree. Yeah they had some interesting sounding classes – I told my roommate that I was going to Flagstaff and they laughed – I dint know anybody up there. Several weeks went by and the feelings got strong that is where I should go. My roommates still where non believers- so they would believe it when they saw it. They had forgotten I had been on a mission and had gone to Taiwan and know nobody but my Heavenly Father and my Savior.

I sent off my application for classes not putting in a second thought to housing. I knew something would come up and it did. The middle of May I still hadn't done anything about housing and schools started in 3 weeks. In Sunday school class brother Keith Crockett introduced two boys that were there visiting and one was from Flagstaff the name was Lorin Skinner rang a bell. Id his grandmother Shumway in Thatcher. Anyways I went up after Sunday school and ask him if he know any girls who needed a roommate for the summer. He said no but he'd look and see and let me know.

I later heard from him giving me an address of Karen from Texas who had come up to NAU the last 3 summers but he didn't know about his year. I wrote Karen- Karen and I got together and were roommates for the summer in the dorm. Karen had horses and Lorin had ridden them the summer before. After classes got started and I got settled in the dorm. Towards the end of the week I called Lorin to tell him thanks and tell him we were settled in. He invited us over to his house for waffles. I had heard stories about him before I got to Flagstaff from several sources. My main source was my visiting teacher, Jan mecham. She had gone with him for about a year before. She told me to ignore Lorin and go for his roommate – Donnie; he was good looking, rich and has a house.

Well I tried but it didn't work. My weekend I usually planned a trip somewhere, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico or somewhere. I was having a good summer and enjoying my classes. Lorin had come over one night and took Karen and I on a motorcycle ride – I thought he was just bored and come to visit Karen. He later told me different. He told me anytime I wanted to come out and cook in their kitchen I could. After being in the dorm about a month I was antsy about doing some baking so I called - he said "sure, just leave us something to eat and don't leave a mess."

He had to go on a buds run so he wasn't there when I went out. I made some bread and some peanut butter cookies and left some for them. The next morning just after I got home from my early classes there was a telephone call from Lorin. "Hey this is good bread, what are you doing for the rest of eternity?" Because the stories I had heard I joked along with him. "What is this, a proposal?" oh it could be." We both laughed and joked. That was on June 30. Later that date came greater meaning.

Lorin had decided to get specific with the Lord on doing his part to find the right one and get married. He said he had asked to be released from stake YSI and they ask why he was getting married. His answer was yes but he didn't know when except soon and he did know to whom. He had also told the Lord by June 30 he would have somebody to marry.

I never thought much more about our conversation. I went on my weekend trips and I would come back and Karen would talk about Lorin calling. (Later he told me he was always calling to ask me out but I was never home so he just made it seem like he called to visit.) He called during the week one time and took me out for some ice cream and we rode out by Lake Mary. Somehow it slipped out that on the 24^th of the July my family was having a reunion out at fort tut hill and that I had to stay in town that weekend as it turned out all the family left Saturday about noon. My roommate whom Lorin knew better than me came up that weekend too. We all went to eat Chinese food; Lorin said he wanted to go with us. He had to go on a bus run so h had to leave early – when he left he left enough money to pay for his and my dinner. Oh, than the questions started. What going on – nothing as far as I was concerned. We went to Sunday school with Lorin and Donnie the next day. My roommate went home after Sunday school and than just after they left Lorin called and ask me to go to Sacrament meeting. It was a good meeting, the speakers spoke on their ancestors who had crossed the plains. Sister Helen Jenkins was speaking telling a funny story and we were both laughing and well I was off guard he took my hand. I thought o myself what is he doing – all those stories are true.

After the meeting we went over to his parents' house and the whole family was home for the weekend – we sang songs and had a good time together. All the time getting a feeling that Lorin having stronger feelings that I had even thought about. Than when he kissed me that-night I started thinking maybe there was something that but all the time remembering the stories Jan had told me and I was bound and determined and wasn't going to let my feelings be involved just to be let down.

Monday, he had to work when I wasn't in classes – so we didn't see each other, but Tuesday morning about 9:00 he called and ask if I wanted to go on a picnic right then. Sure, I had afternoon classes – was interesting, talked about some interesting topics not likely for a second date. My mind and heart wandered all the time what was going on and how I was suppose to react. I told Karen when I got home "I didn't know what he had but he had it bad."

Wednesday, I had a mini class in machine embroidery. Lorin said to stop by his house on the way home and if he was a sleep he'd get up and we'd go for a ride. So we went for a ride. – Through the trees and fields – looked at some houses – talking – joking – laughed – I enjoyed the day. He got talking about people always trying to get him married off. Joking I told him he really did need to get with "the program." "What Program" in D&C 132, "He said you'll have to show me." We went t back ate some supper and he got out the D&C we were reading along, talking than I guess he had read enough. He put the book down and turned and said "I guess you better start formulating a letter" - "To whom"- "to your principal, you won't be going back to Mesa to teach." I came alive like I had never been before or since – I took him by the shoulders and shook him and shaking said "do you know what you said, do you mean that?" I made him ask me in formal terms so I could hear what he was really saying to me.

I drove back to the dorm in a daze – we hadn't even prayed together, (but we both knew because we had both been praying for so long we didn't have to ask again.) until just a few minutes before I left. I got home, tried to sleep, between tiring to understand and believe what had happened. I kept thinking when I wake up, it won't be the same, and it won't be true. But bright and early he called, he had to go to Phoenix but would be home in the afternoon and he wanted to make a decision –when – that made it wound pretty final.

Immediately after that I decided he was serious this thing was really happening in my life, I called doubting Daddy – he had gone home three days before from the reunion telling my aunt that I was too picky, I would never get married,0 I called collect to tell him I was getting Married. Chocked but excited he asked to whom. Later that day Lorin called him and asked if he could marry his daughter. Daddy said if she said yes – that's great and you better hurry. Daddy and Lorin didn't talk again or meet each other until the night before we got married.

We went to his mom and dad's to tell them – but since Sunday they had a strong feeling about it but didn't know it was coming so soon. Then came the decision –when? Soon but several things stopped us from doing it as soon as Lorin wanted. He wanted to in 4 weeks but the temple was closed for 2 weeks the last week in August and the first of Sept. I still had 2 weeks of school left. So it had to be either the week after school was out or wait 5 weeks. I mean 5 weeks was a long time when we had been waiting long time (we thought) already. So Tuesday Sept 6 was the big Day

Engaged

Journal Page 2

Oct 2, 1977

I miss Mama and think about her a lot. I know her work now is much great than if she were on earth. But her example and great influence is still here. I want to live my life as close to hers as I can so my children can know the greatness of their grandmother through my love and my example and my life.

April 23, 1979

As I reread about Mama there are a couple of experiences I haven't written down one of the experiences happened to aunt Jean in Verden. She had volunteered to finish the temple apron Mama had started while she was recovering from surgery. I had taken Linda (I was in Flagstaff going to Summer school) down for the weekend and we cleaned house and took care of her for a few days. After I got back I sent her the apron and told her there was no hurry because at that time July 7, 1977 I had no one to even think about marrying. While by the time I sent it and she received it things had changed. The week after she got it she got a letter asking if she could have it finished in 5 weeks. (will that is a another long story) anyway while aunt Jean sat on her bed working on my apron she felt someone enter the room so she looked up and didn't see anyone but she looked again and Grandma Hatch and Mama were there. They didn't say anything but just looked and nodded as if to say "we appreciate what you are going and good job." Then they were gone.

Another experience was one night I had a dream. I had been thinking about Mama and what she was doing. In the dream she came to see me and ask me about Lorin and how we were doing. I asked her if she had some before and she told me she had come to our wedding but had to busy since. I asked her to busy doing what? She told me she was making temple cloths and I asked for whom? She told me for all the people who die and then have the work done for them. They too must have proper clothes when resurrected, than mama left.

Journal Pages from Mom

 

I am a daughter of my heavenly Father and born to earthly parents – Franklin and Louise Hatch East who loves me and I love them – I stand as a witness of God and the teaching my parents taught me at home.

November 27, 1976

I really feel it important to write some of my feelings of the past several months and also some of my experiences with my dear mother.

I'll start with coming home from Colorado. I was at the circle K Ranch from about 3 1/2 weeks. Not being very happy because things changed in the two years I had been gone on my mission and I think most of all I was worried mama would die and I wouldn't be there. So I came home planning only to stay a few days and go back but once home I decided my time with mama was much more valuable to me than the few cents an hour I was being paid at the ranch. Times when I could take care of my parents. I say parents because I feel Daddy needed me as much as Mamma did.

There is something of life and death and sharing these feelings that builds a bond of love.

There was the time of waiting on Mamma that made me appreciate mothers. Mamma had done "her business" in her beside "pot" and oh did it ever stink and she was so ashamed and had made such a mess that I would have to clean up. Actually just empty. She was apologizing for doing it. I told her not worry about it that I was sure she had cleaned many of my dirty diapers. This was my mom never wanting people to wait on her.

I than stayed with them until school started. I went home as often as possible – almost every weekend. The last 3 months when she was not in the hospital someone had to stay with her all the time. Her sisters took turns, Cora stayed one week and I went on home on weekends so her sisters (Aunt Jean & Aunt Vergie) could go home.

She went in the hospital for the last time in mid October. When she passed away on November 15 1976 in the Joseph hospital in Tucson Arizona she had been there for 5 days the doctors knowing less and less what to do for her. She has cancer for 7 years. I remember very clearly that first summer she had one breast removed. It was the summer of 1969, the fist summer I worked in Colorado. I had stayed up longer to close up the ranch, because ASU didn't start until the middles of September. Mama wasn't going to tell me about it until I got home but Diane told her she better write and tell me. The sequence of events and feelings I'll tell about some other place. She than has the other breast removed a year later. The next year something else after each of the operations she would recover very quickly and easily in the best spirit. "falsies" became a common joke with the family. Kenny speaking of them as her "equipment." I'm sure Mama had her moments of wondering about her life. But she never let anyone know. She was always so cherry and never conveyed the feeling of depression.

The spring of 1974 she had some cobalt treatments for some lumps on her chest. Because she had had so many in that area her body reacted. It burned the skin off. It was the ugliest sore I had ever seen and looked so painful. But when people would ask Mama about the pain she would bring up how the Japanese must have suffered when "the bomb" was dropped over there in WWII. She never felt sorry for herself. She would always be thinking of someone who was worse off than she was.

Soon after this reaction cleared up, her hip began to give her problems. She suffered with it until her next doctor appointment which was the day before we left to go to Utah for me to go into the mission home. The doctor took x-rays and told her to go ahead and go but to stay off it as much as possible. By the time I heard from her I was in the L.T.M. in Hawaii. Her hip joint was cracking because of some lesions (cancer) on the bone. In July of 1974 she had her hip operated on to put in some pins to keep the bone from cracking anymore. Then they gave her cobalt treatments to kill the cancer. This was when I was gone but people say she just never regained her strength back like had done before.

I would always receive letters from her she would never really tell me how she was really. Once and a while Daddy would write and tell me how she was. She was getting worse all the time. Finally in December of 1974 she sent a tape and from that tape I could tell just how bad she was. Her lungs would fill up with fluid which made her cough ass the time to enable her to breathe. The coughing made her so horse. She didn't even sound like my mother in the tape. On this tape which I kept she told me about how sick she really was, but most of all she told me about the special blessing given to her by bishop Dean Kart, and also she shared her testimony with me. Bishop blessed her that if she was to go soon the Lord needed her but if not soon she would get better.

Very soon after Larry Freidrichs called to talk to her about taking shakles food supplements. She started taking them very faithfully and she started gaining her strength back. I believe shakles helped to restore many needed nutrients in her body what had been lost or killed by the cobalt and other medication. Her body was just run down. But I know it was through faith, prayers and the power of the priesthood and modern medication that Mama lived 2 more years. She lived to see me come home and share in my experiences as a missionary and also she got to hold in her arms her first grandchild which she wanted to do so badly.

It seems, once her two dreams of seeing a child fulfill a mission and have grandchildren in this life were fulfilled she had other things to do. But she had lived her life as the Lord had asked so he was bound to bless as he tells in the D&C. Mama had complete faith in the Lord and an unconditional love as the Savior had for all of us. I remember the day before she passed away, Kenny and Diane and I were there visiting – she started having one of those coughing spells. She just couldn't breathe. She just too weak to cough the junk out of her lungs. All she could say was ok Heavenly Father help me. And she asked Kenny to pray for her. He said a prayer and soon she was able to settle down and breathe easier. She passed away November 15, 1976 after all us had been home and visited and all of us had gone back to our homes.

 

Life Sketch of Barbara East Skinner given by Mary Freer at Moms Funeral

A few weeks ago I came to church with Barbara. It was the Saturday evening Easter Program and I sat with her until Lorin was able to join her. Then I went to the back and sat with a friend. She leaned over and asked "Mary, how is Barbara doing?" I couldn't speak, a tear came to my eye and she said "sometimes life isn't fair is it? I silently nodded and thought of a picture of Christ that hangs in our home. Inscribed on it are the words " I never said it would be easy, I only dais it would be worth it." Barbara would agree. Never did I ever hear her question "Why me?"

Barbara had a wonderful relationship with her Heavenly Father and knew well his plan of Salvation. Barbara knew where she came from, why she was here and where she was going when her time here on earth was finished. Barbara even knew who would come to take her home. I know she knew because one day when I was lying on the bed talking with her I asked her and she told me she knew her mother and Father would come and take her to her Heavenly home.

Barbara had the faith to put her like in the Lords hands. She often said it wouldn't be up to the doctors if she lived or passed to the next phase of her life. It wouldn't be her decision either, because if she has the choice she would stay here and continue to raise her children and be a grandmother to her grandchildren, Madelyn, Easten and Emery. She knew her life was in the Lords Hands and she never questioned His path for her.

In July of last year. After we got the results of Barbara's tests, I read an article in the church magazine. It said

"We cannot control what is called the great transfer board in the sky. Heavenly Father cannot do his work in Heaven. Where there are 10 times as much as we have on his planet without, on occasion, taking some of the very best sisters and brothers from among us."(And I'd like to add mothers.)

When I read this I thought, Not Barbara. It comes back to faith and believing in the Lords timing even if we don't understand why.

Barbara East Skinner was born June 14.1950 in Benson, Arizona to Franklin and Louise East. She was the 3rd of 5 children. She graduate from Benson union high School and earned a teaching degree from ASU--(I might add that she remained a loyal fan. When ASU went to the Rose Bowl, Barbara and her family went to the rose bowl!) Barbara taught school at Mesa Jr. High and in the middle of her year of teaching the Lord let her know that she needed to serve a mission. Her father, Franklin didn't want her to go, he thought her 'prince charming' would come and go while she was gone. But Barbara knew what the Lord wanted and in June of 1974 she left for Taiwan to serve an 18 month mission. Barbara always said that Lord takes care of his missionaries and when she returned from Taiwan she got her job back. When that summer came she decided to go to NAU for the classes to keep her teaching certificate valid. There she met Lorin. After one date with Lorin she said "My life has changed." After 3 dates Lorin asked her to call her Principle and tell him she wouldn't be coming back to teach. She called her Doubting Father to tell him she was getting married in 5 weeks. Earlier that day he had told her aunt "Barbara will never get married, she is too picky!"

Barbara and Lorin were married in Mesa Temple September 6, 1977. Barbara wanted a large family and had 8 children in 13 years.

Scott, Sara, Amy, Jo, Brian, Tod, Ann, Brad

Barbara loved serving and she blessed the lives of others through her service. She was very active in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints. She served in every organization of the church Primary--Relief Society--Sunday school--Scouting and Young Women. She never gave a lesson but what she ended with her testimony of Jesus Christ and her love for him.

Barbara and I served together in the Young Women's for many years. I loved serving with Barbara, especially when we would go to girls' camp. Barbara was prepared for anything. She was so organized and I never worried we would forget something because Barbara wouldn't forget anything!

She Loved serving and wherever she did she blessed us with her hobbies. She loved cooking, sewing, cake decorating, camping, Dutch oven cooking, counseling and most of all mothering.

One day close to the time Barbara's passing I saw Tod loading up the truck. He has all his gear and his dune buggy ready to go. Then I saw him carry out his Dutch oven. Barbara has left many wonderful talents with her children and when I say that I thought, Barbara will never be forgotten.

When Brad started kindergarten Barbara went back to teaching. She worked with the Special Education Students. Her friend Liz Nobel wrote this about her:

Barbara was the guiding light of the Special education department at Flagstaff High School for the last six years. She quietly, and in the most efficient manner, gained a reputation for the special Ed department at FHS as the most efficient and timely one in the district in turning in reports and the thousands of pages of paperwork required annually. She was a tough cookie, demanding that we get IEPs done, our census #'s right, our progress reports completed, you name it and she made sure we did! At FHS Barbara was simply "Our Barbara", she was not Lorin's or the Bishop's wife she was simply the extraordinary wonderful teaching assistant who made sure that everything from paperwork to making sure a student was tested to making sure a student got extra help sewing her boxer shorts in Fashion Design happened! She demanded responsible behavior and tempered it with smiles, love and kindness. We owe her much, our respect, our honor and most of all our friendship.

Barbara was an avid scouter, she wore her scouting uniform with as pride as a scouter.

Whatever she did, it was well done, but one of her most rewarding and helpful service commitments, was District Advancement, and Eagle Scout Board of Review. I am sure there are men and young men here today that she helped on their trail to Eagles. The Council knew that her quality of requirement from the boys was exactly as the guidelines direct. This was one of the hardest things for her to give up after her diagnosis.

Barbara believed and lived the Scout Oath and Law and taught it to her children, and all the youth she had stewardship for. Scott, Brian and Tod are Eagle Scouts and I am sure Brad will follow their example when the time comes.

Barbara was a great Scouter.

This Mother's Day Barbara's Children made a memory book for her. It included their feelings about her and their great love for her.

For example:

"I will always remember one night when you came home from the ICU. You were talking to dad and you were tired. Dad said we just wanted to make you happy and asked what you wanted. In tears and slowly you told him that you just wanted to raise your own children. That hit me hard. I hope I can have that much love for my children."

"Mom, you have fulfilled your responsibility as a mother, teacher and member of the church, etc. Now it is our responsibility to live the legacy you have started."

"Mom, I'm glad you saved the best for last. I will always be your baby. I will try to do what is right. I love you."

Barbara surely took comfort after hearing these thoughts as she considered motherhood to be her most sacred role. She taught her children all they need to know to make their family an eternal one.

In a family meeting after Barbra passed away her children had a few other memories to share. They included:

"Mom passed on to all of us her love for the outdoors, the scouting program, and everything it has taught us."

"She always loved everyone, no matter if she liked them or not."

"Work always came before Fun, but she would always have fun."

"She loved each one of kids the same."

"She could always make a bad situation into something good."

"I always liked it when she would tuck me into bed and give me a kiss and tell me she loved me."

"She always worked her hardest no matter what she was doing."

"She always led by example."

"Heavenly Father out her in my life to be my angel."

"She was a great Friend."

Could we all be so blessed to have these words said about us?

When Sara was in Young Women's organization of the church and one of the leaders told the girls it was ok to wear shorts to certain activity. Sara came home and told her mom; Barbara told Sara "You are a Skinner first than a young woman. You know what to do! Barbara chose a higher road for herself and her family.

Barbara believed in the most wonderful thing about living upon this earth is belonging to a loyal, affectionate, happy family and she did!

I know that the loss of a mother, friends and wife is almost more than we think we can bear. It is ok to weep. I cry all the time because I am selfish and want to see her smiling face right now.

In Doctrine and Covenants 42:245 we read "Thou shall live together in love in so much that thou shalt weep for those of loss of them that die:" Christ has said "Blessed are they that mourn and to those that mourned he has promised comfort." John 14:18 says "I will not leave you comfortless. I will come to you."

Grief is another lesson taught to us by our Heavenly Father and Barbara knew that we would miss her, grieve and cry. But she would want us to turn our grief into gratitude. Gratitude for the savior, for the knowledge of an eternal family. Knowledge that we will see her again.

If roses grow in Heaven Lord

Please pick a bunch for me.

Place them in Barbara's arms

And tell her they are from me.

Tell her I love her and miss her,

And when she turns to smile,

Place a kiss upon her cheek

And hold her for a while.

Because remembering her is easy,

I do it every day,

But there is an ache within my heart

That will never go away.

How Lucky I am o have known someone who it is so hard to say good bye too!

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen

Please add Memories of Mom

I have Created this blog in memory of Mom. I was coming across alot of pictures of mom and memories that I had of her and thought it would be nice to have a blog where anyone that wants can, add pictures and memories of Mom. When this blog is done who ever wants can print it out and have a hard copy of all the memories that family and friends have had of Mom. Please share anything you want here, lets make a story book for Mom so that we all can all remember what a wonderful mom, wife and friend she was. We want not only us to remember how she touched our lives but also our spouses the did not me her and our kids and their kids and so on to know who and what mom was. Please help by adding pictures, videos and anything that you have that reminds you of Mom.